The mad lads at GameFreak have done it again. Pokémon Scarlet and Violet push the series’ overall Pokédex into 4 figures, and the special 1,000th Pokémon seems to be a gold coin browsing freak with a fanny pack called Gholdengo. Is it going to sell me crypto? Is it made of crypto?? I can’t wait to search out out.
I first learned in regards to the Gholdengo from IGN, who noted the coin entity’s striking resemblance to a General Mills cereal mascot but was otherwise effusive in its praise. Gholdengo, it seems, is the evolved type of Gimmighoul, a Dungeons & Dragons-style mimic chest revealed by Nintendo earlier within the month. How that evolution takes place is the true magic. YouTuber nickcucc described it as, “Probably one of the tedious yet rad evolutions you’ll ever experience in your entire life.”
If you defeat a Gimmighoul it drops gold coins. When you’ve picked up 1,000, your Gimmighoul will evolve into Gholdengo on its next level up. “Its body appears to be made up of 1,000 coins,” reads the Pokédex entry. “This Pokémon gets along well with others and is quick to make friends with anybody.”
I’m sure it is quick to make friends. One moment you’re feeding Gholdengo a Bocadillo de Jamón, the subsequent it’s talking your ear off about how you may yield farm Dengo Coin at 16 percent and it is best to buy the dip on that FTX token that just blew up. Web 3.0 ain’t going to make itself. Now be a superb Pokémon trainer and ditch those TMs for some NFTs.
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To the extent that Gholdengo looks like a walking Ponzi scheme, it’s a lowkey testament to the series’ own unflagging durability through the many years. Pokémon is just too big to fail. Scarlet and Violet’s performance issues can’t stop it from being the most pre-ordered game in franchise history. So what if the series’ 1,000th creature looks prefer it just got back from making DeFi TikToks at Burning Man?
At the top of the day, good or bad, hundreds of thousands of individuals, myself included, will do whatever it takes to get one other shot at catching these lovely abominations and run them through a spreadsheet calculus so obtuse it might make even your H&R Block accountant weep. Even when the Pokémon in query is a literal keychain, ice cream cone, or on this case, Gholdengo. I’m going to catch so lots of these goddamn things, and we’re going to hold our diamond hands until the seas rise and swallow us whole.
