Dear Amy: I recently joined a meditation group that conducts sessions each in person and online.
During a web based session, I posted a note within the chat that after the session anyone could go and stare upon the complete moon.
The group leader was indignant. He told the group aloud that I used to be distracting and that nobody should read what was within the chat.
I discovered this strange because if he didn’t need to, he may need disabled Zoom’s chat feature.
At the top of the meeting, I told everyone that I hoped they might enjoy taking a look at the attractive full moon and logged off.
The teacher contacted me after the session and said I used to be disturbing.
I didn’t have.
Nevertheless, he suggested that I find one other group.
I live in a small town and there is no such thing as a other group. (I actually have a weekly online group with one other tutor.)
Prior to this incident, I privately asked him to stop saying unpleasant things about his ex-girlfriend behind her back in a public newsletter that was distributed to his subscribers. I said that I didn’t know this woman and located it unfair to share her personal information on the web.
I believe the request may need made him bristle at me.
I used to be hoping to be friends there. Do you may have any suggestions?
– Star watcher
Dear stargazer: Wow, and I believed middle school was filled with drama!
I haven’t any personal experience with meditation groups, but when there may be a pacesetter who has organized and offers what seems like guided meditation, participants mustn’t weigh themselves verbally or textually unless invited.
When using the web “chat” feature, you made a gentle comment directed on the group, but should you commented on it verbally during an in-person class, the group leader would probably ask you not to talk.
It seems most rational that he just forgot to show off the “chat” feature.
After correcting yourself at school, you made the choice to throw in a bunch thought again before you “log off quickly”.
You do not appear to need to meditate. You would like to communicate. There’s nothing fallacious with that, unless you are attempting to do it in group meditation.
Your leader could also be taking revenge for a previous unrelated incident, nevertheless it’s his group. He can drive it nevertheless he wants.
It is a pity you do not have other groups to hitch – besides (in your opinion) you do.
Setting your personal boundaries – and respecting others – is an important a part of constructing a friendship. It seems like something it’s best to meditate on.
Dear Amy: My wife and I actually have been married for 22 years. We met at 28 and got married at 30. Ours is her first and only marriage, and my second.
We had a fantastic life, making love, having fun and raising our two daughters in a fantastic community.
Each our daughters are in college and are doing thoroughly.
I used to be married very shortly after graduation.
While we dated throughout college, the wedding only lasted 18 months. The divorce was clean and simple, just for the sale of the home that he owned.
My wife thinks that in some unspecified time in the future I should share this previous relationship with my daughters.
I do not think it has any effect on our lives today, so we need not share.
What do you’re thinking that?
– Considering
Dear wondering: I do not find it big news, but I find it information that your daughters will find intriguing. (Dad has a past!)
Actually, your previous marriage is having an impact in your life today. You have got actually learned, grown up and altered in consequence of this relationship. And after your divorce, you almost certainly made decisions to avoid repeating the experience.
I do not see this as a “We will need to have a family reunion” discussion, but as a proven fact that might be shared in context. Your daughters will probably answer, “Dad! No way! “They’ll need to know more after which they’ll move on.
Dear Amy: I loved your detailed reply to “I do not feel like my neighborhood”, which had neighbors with neglected children and borderless. Just a few years ago I discovered myself in the same situation, and the boundaries I had to attract “prevented a war, not began it,” as you suggested.
– Grateful
Dear Grateful: More established neighbors may have to show these younger parents some basic lessons.
(You’ll be able to email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You may as well follow her on Twitter @query or Facebook.)
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